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Sexless Marriage Effect On the Husband: 10 Effects No Sex is Having on Your Man

Sexless marriage effect on the husband stressed holding wedding ring
July 27, 2023

One common issue that can arise in a marriage is a lack of sexual intimacy. This can be due to various reasons, including physical or emotional issues, differing sex drives, or simply not prioritizing sex in the relationship.

However, both partners need to address this issue and work towards finding solutions together.

Here we look into what effect a sexless marriage has on a husband.

What Is A Sexless Marriage?

Upset couple in bed sexless marriage

A sexless marriage is defined as having sex less than 10 times per year. This can result from many factors, including physical or emotional intimacy issues, a difference in sexual desire between partners, or stress from external factors such as work or parenting responsibilities. 

In some cases, the lack of sexual activity may be mutually agreed upon by both partners, but in others, it can lead to resentment, frustration and boredom. 

It is important for couples in a sexless marriage to openly communicate their needs and desires and seek professional help if necessary. 

While there is no one-size-fits-all solution, increasing communication and finding ways to improve intimacy can help strengthen any relationship, whether monogamy, polyamory, or platonic.

The Causes Of A Sexless Marriage

Sad husband with family experiencing sexless marriage problems

It is common for a marriage's passion and sexual desire to decrease over time. Still, a complete lack of physical intimacy can lead to frustration and resentment.

A sexless relationship dynamic type may be caused by various factors, including differences in libido, communication issues, and emotional or physical distance between partners. 

An Illness Or Medical Condition

One possible cause for a sexless marriage is an illness or medical condition. This can impact both physical and psychological factors, leading to decreased interest in sex or the ability to engage in sexual activity.

Physical limitations due to illness or medical conditions can affect one's desire and ability to participate in sex or intercourse. For example, pain, fatigue, and medication side effects can all contribute to low sex drive. In addition, the stress and emotional strain of managing a chronic illness can also decrease sexual desire and interest.

On top of these individual factors, the impact of an illness or medical condition on a marriage can also lead to relationship issues. Arguments about caretaking responsibilities, feeling burdened or neglected, and losing intimacy can further contribute to a lack of sex in the relationship.

It is important for couples facing these challenges to openly communicate and seek support from healthcare professionals and mental health resources.

Finding ways to maintain intimacy and connection, whether through sex or other means, can help strengthen the bond in the marriage. In addition, seeking treatment for the illness or medical condition can improve sexual functioning and overall marital satisfaction. 

An illness or medical condition can significantly contribute to a sexless marriage. Still, with open communication and support, the couple can work towards developing a fulfilling and intimate relationship.

Pregnancy And Childbirth

One common cause of a sexless marriage is pregnancy and childbirth. When a couple has a baby, the woman's body goes through many physical and hormonal changes. 

She may experience discomfort or pain during intercourse and be physically and emotionally exhausted from caring for a newborn. 

The stress and responsibilities of parenthood can affect the couple's intimacy and sexual desire. If the couple does not communicate and make an effort to prioritize their relationship, the lack of physical intimacy can lead to a sexless marriage. 

Couples must seek support and openly discuss their needs during this transition period to maintain a healthy sex life. Couples can explore alternative forms of intimacy and sexual expression, such as using lubrication or incorporating toys during sex. 

Pregnancy and childbirth can undoubtedly be challenging times for a couple's sex life. Still, with open communication and focusing on nurturing their relationship, they can navigate this change and keep their sexual connection strong.

It is also important to note that pregnancy and childbirth may not be the only reason for a sexless marriage. Other factors, such as illness or differing sexual desires, can also play a role. 

It is essential for couples to actively communicate and work together to address any issues affecting their physical intimacy.

A satisfying sex life is an essential aspect of a healthy relationship, and couples should prioritize finding solutions to any challenges they may face.

Feeling Stressed

One potential cause for a sexless marriage is stress. For example, if one or both partners are experiencing high levels of stress at work or in their personal lives, they may not have the mental or physical energy for sexual activity. This can lead to resentment and frustration within the relationship.

In addition, stress can also impact sexual functioning. For example, it can lead to issues with arousal and difficulty reaching orgasm.

Couples must communicate their stress levels and find ways to manage them together. This can help improve overall relationship satisfaction and sexual connection. Couples therapy or individual therapy can also help address the effects of stress on the marriage.

Psychological Trauma

One potential cause of a sexless marriage is psychological trauma. Trauma can disrupt a person's ability to experience pleasure and intimacy, leading to avoiding sexual experiences. 

Trauma could manifest in several ways, such as fear or discomfort during physical contact, difficulty experiencing arousal or orgasm, or an aversion to specific sexual acts.

Trauma can also affect a person's ability to regulate emotions and manage stress, leading to increased conflict and difficulty communicating in a sexual relationship. 

Trauma can also cause flashbacks or trigger intense emotional reactions, making it difficult for the individual to maintain stability in the sexual relationship.

Additionally, trauma can lead to feelings of shame and self-blame, leading to avoidance of sexual intimacy and possible alienation from the sex partner.

It is important to note that trauma-related issues in a sexual relationship can be addressed through therapy and support, allowing for healing and potential improvement in sexual intimacy and sexual experiences. 

However, it is also crucial to prioritize consent and communication and acknowledge and respect any boundaries set by the individual with trauma. 

Without addressing the underlying trauma, sex intimacy and sexual relationships may remain strained. Therefore, seeking professional help and support in navigating these challenges is crucial. 

Trauma can contribute to a sexless marriage by disrupting a person's ability to experience pleasure and intimacy, causing difficulties with emotional regulation, communication, and consent. 

With appropriate support and therapy, however, individuals can heal and potentially improve their sexual experiences within the sexual relationship.

Ineffective Communication

In a marriage, communication is key to maintaining a healthy sex life. When partners cannot effectively communicate, it can lead to a lack of intimacy and, ultimately, a sexless marriage.

Some common reasons for ineffective communication in a marriage include not feeling heard or understood by one's partner, holding onto resentment or anger, having different love languages, and not prioritizing communication in the relationship. 

These issues can lead to a breakdown in communication, causing partners to withdraw from each other and not fulfill each other's physical needs.

Couples must address any issues with communication in their marriage and seek help if necessary. Improved communication can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life in the marriage.

10 Effects Of A Sexless Marriage On The Husband

Husband and wife struggling to keep their marriage alive

The effects of a sexless marriage on the husband can be significant and damaging. Seeking professional help and open communication with one's partner is crucial in addressing and resolving issues related to intimacy in the marriage.

1. Having A Sense Of Failure

One potential effect of a sexless marriage on the husband is a sense of failure. In a socially constructed patriarchal society, men are often expected to be the initiators and perpetrators of sexual activity within a relationship. 

When this role is not fulfilled in a marriage, the man may feel he has failed in his duties as a husband.

This feeling of failure can lead to a loss of self-esteem and confidence and potentially cause issues in the relationship, such as communication and intimacy. It may also result in the husband seeking gratification outside of the marriage, leading to infidelity or further strain on the relationship.

On a larger scale, this feeling of failure can also contribute to societal pressures and stigmas surrounding male sexuality and performance. 

It may cause the husband to withdraw or become closed off to hide their perceived inadequacy, potentially leading to further emotional and mental issues such as depression or anxiety.

Both partners must communicate openly and honestly about their needs and desires to maintain a healthy sexual relationship. 

If the issue is causing significant strain on the marriage, seeking therapy or counseling may be beneficial in resolving any conflicts and reconnecting with each other. However, it is also important for individuals to remember that a lack of sexual activity does not equate to failure, and many factors can affect their ability to perform. 

No one should feel pressured to fulfill societal expectations and norms, and seeking help is not a sign of weakness but rather strength in acknowledging and addressing the issue. 

Both partners must nurture and support each other to maintain a healthy and happy marriage.

2. Low Sense Of Self-Worth

Low self-worth can significantly impact a person's mental and emotional well-being. For example, in a sexless marriage, the husband may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or shame. As a result, they may question their desirability or feel rejected by their partner. 

This lack of physical intimacy in the relationship can also lead to feelings of loneliness and frustration. These negative feelings can manifest in the form of depression, anger, or even resentment toward the sex partner.

Furthermore, a sexless marriage can also lead to infidelity, as the husband may seek validation and physical intimacy outside the relationship. This can further damage their self-worth and trust in the marriage.

To combat these effects, the husband must confront and address their feelings of low self-worth. 

Seeking therapy or couples counseling can also improve communication and intimacy within the relationship. 

Maintaining open and honest communication with oneself and one's partner is the key to navigating a sexless marriage lacking physical intimacy.

3. An Unhealthy Mental State

The effects of a sexless marriage on the husband can be profound, leading to feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and depression. In addition, in a society that heavily values sexual activity and prowess, the lack of intimacy in a marriage can lead the husband to question his worth and desirability. 

Without fulfilling their physical needs, the husband may seek sexual satisfaction outside the marriage, leading to potential infidelity and further damaging the relationship. 

A sexless marriage can also cause emotional distance between partners, as a lack of physical intimacy often signifies a disconnect in other aspects of the relationship. 

Ultimately, both partners must communicate openly about their needs and desires to maintain a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship. 

Without addressing these issues, the effects of a sexless marriage on the husband can have detrimental consequences for both individuals and the overall well-being of the marriage.

4. Embarrassment

Many couples struggle with a lack of physical intimacy in their marriage, often leading to feelings of embarrassment and shame for the husband. This can lead to self-esteem issues, frustration, and resentment toward their partner. Sometimes, the husband may seek validation through infidelity or pornography addiction.

These difficulties can also manifest in other aspects of the marriage, causing communication issues and a breakdown in emotional intimacy. Without physical intimacy, it can be difficult for the husband to feel connected to their partner and fully committed to the relationship.

Seeking therapy or counseling can help address these issues and find ways to improve physical intimacy within the marriage. 

Both partners must be open and willing to work towards a solution, as a sexless marriage can negatively affect the husband's well-being and overall happiness.

5. Anger

Anger is a common emotion experienced in a sexless marriage, particularly for the husband. This anger can manifest in various ways, such as resenting their spouse or engaging in destructive behavior.

In some cases, the lack of physical intimacy and sexual fulfillment can lead to infidelity. In addition, the husband may seek validation and pleasure from outside the marriage, ultimately causing harm to the relationship.

On an emotional level, anger and frustration can lead to feelings of worthlessness and insecurity. The husband may question their desirability and feel like they are not fulfilling their role as a partner. This can result in strain on their self-esteem and overall mental health.

In addition, the lack of intimacy can also lead to distance in the relationship. The husband may withdraw emotionally and avoid communicating with their spouse, leading to further harm to the marriage.

It is vital for both partners in a sexless marriage to address these issues and seek help from a professional therapist to prevent anger and resentment from causing further damage to the relationship. 

With open communication and a willingness to work on the issue, a sexless marriage can become satisfying and fulfilling for both parties involved.

6. Isolation

Isolation can significantly impact a husband's emotional and physical well-being in a sexless marriage. Without physical intimacy, the husband may feel neglected and unloved by their partner. This can lead to loneliness and isolation from not only their spouse but also their social circles and community.

Furthermore, the lack of sexual activity can lead to frustration and resentment towards their partner. This can result in the husband seeking intimacy outside the marriage, potentially leading to infidelity.

On a physical level, the absence of sex can cause problems with erectile dysfunction and low testosterone levels. It can also contribute to decreased satisfaction with one's sex life and overall physical and mental health.

7. Loneliness

Loneliness in a sexless marriage can significantly affect the husband's mental and emotional well-being. Without physical intimacy, husbands may feel rejected or undesirable, leading to low self-esteem and depression. They may also experience a lack of emotional connection with their partner, leading to isolation and loneliness.

In addition to mental and emotional effects, a lack of physical intimacy can also have physical consequences. For example, without regular sexual activity, males may experience erectile dysfunction or a decreased sex drive.

Couples in a sexless marriage need to communicate openly about their needs and desires and seek professional help if necessary. In addition, finding ways to reconnect physically and emotionally can help alleviate the adverse effects of loneliness in the relationship.

8. Become Irritated

One of the potential effects of a sexless marriage on the husband is feeling irritated and frustrated. Without physical intimacy, the husband may feel rejected and disappointed in the relationship. In addition, this lack of sexual connection can lead to anger and resentment towards their partner.

In some cases, the husband may seek satisfaction outside of the marriage through extramarital affairs or indulging in addictive behaviors, which can further damage the marital relationship and lead to trust issues and hurt feelings.

On the other hand, a marriage without physical intimacy can also lead to emotional distance and a lack of communication between spouses. As a result, the husband may withdraw from the relationship and feel disconnected from his partner.

Finding a solution to the lack of physical intimacy in the marriage is crucial for the well-being of both partners. Couples therapy, open communication, and exploring different ways to reconnect can help improve the relationship and bring back intimacy. 

Both spouses need to take responsibility for their own needs and desires in the marriage and work together towards finding a way to overcome this.

9. Feeling Unloved

One of the potential effects of a sexless marriage on the husband is feeling irritated and frustrated. Without physical intimacy, the husband may feel rejected and disappointed in the relationship. In addition, this lack of sexual connection can lead to anger and resentment towards their partner. 

A sexless marriage can lead to feelings of low self-esteem and worthlessness for the husband. Without fulfilling sexual intimacy, the husband may question their desirability and attractiveness as a partner. These negative thoughts can damage their mental health and overall well-being.

In some cases, the husband may turn to outside sources for sexual gratification, potentially leading to infidelity or other damaging behaviors. This can further contribute to feelings of guilt and shame, as well as strain the relationship even more.

A sexless marriage can have many adverse effects on the husband, including frustration, low self-esteem, and potentially harmful behaviors. 

Both partners must communicate their needs and work towards finding a solution that satisfies both parties. 

Seeking professional help, such as couples therapy, may also be beneficial in improving the relationship and addressing any issues surrounding sex intimacy.

10. His Health Declines

As a result of his sexless marriage, the husband's health begins to decline. Without regular sexual activity, the release of hormones and endorphins can be hindered, leading to decreased mood and overall well-being. In addition, a lack of physical intimacy can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, further exacerbating mental health issues.

Without a physical and emotional connection with his spouse, the husband may also turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse or reckless behavior. This can further impact his physical health, potentially damage other relationships and cause strain on his career.

A sexless marriage can severely affect the husband's mental and physical health. Therefore, it is essential for couples to openly communicate their sexual needs and desires to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship. If necessary, seeking help from a therapist or sex educator may also be beneficial.

What Are The Chances Of A Marriage Surviving Without Sexual Intimacy?

Every couple and marriage is unique and individual. However, a lack of sexual intimacy can negatively impact a marriage. Couples may experience disconnection, frustration, or even resentment toward their partner. This can lead to communication issues and a decline in overall marital satisfaction.

If the friendship began as a platonic relationship, it might have gone through the cycle and returned to being platonic and extra care, and attention to the relationship will be needed.

Some couples can successfully navigate a sexless marriage through open and honest communication, finding ways to meet each other's needs, and maintaining intimacy in non-sexual ways.

Whether or not a marriage can survive without sexual intimacy depends on the individual couple's ability to communicate effectively and work through challenges. Seeking therapy or counseling can also help navigate and address issues related to a lack of sexual intimacy. 

It is important for couples to openly discuss their needs and desires, finding ways to maintain intimacy and strengthen their relationship even without sexual intimacy.

Ways A Man Can Save His Sexless Marriage

Couple getting therapy help

A sexless marriage can be a difficult and emotional situation for both partners. However, a man can save his sexless marriage and reignite the spark with his partner. 

Talk With Your Partner

A man can save his sexless marriage by openly and honestly communicating with his partner. This means actively listening to their concerns and finding ways to address them together rather than avoiding or dismissing the issue.

One potential solution is communication. You can better understand each other's needs and desires by discussing the issue with your partner. This can lead to finding new physical and emotional connections and identifying possible roadblocks hindering intimacy.

It is also helpful to seek professional help through couples therapy or individual therapy. A therapist can provide unbiased guidance and offer techniques or strategies to improve the relationship's intimacy.

It is important to remember that sexual intimacy is vital to a healthy and fulfilling marriage. By openly communicating and seeking help, a couple can work towards restoring and maintaining a satisfying sexual connection.

Date Nights Are Important

Date nights can be an excellent way for couples to reconnect and rekindle their intimate relationship. However, in a sexless marriage, the man must initiate date nights to show his wife that he values her and cares about rebuilding the physical aspect of their relationship.

During these dates, the man must focus on his wife and leave work and other stressors at the door. This can be done by planning the date in advance, setting aside money, and ensuring any necessary tasks or errands are taken care of beforehand. 

Engaging in activities both partners enjoy can make for a more successful date night. This could include trying a new restaurant, seeing a show or concert, or simply walking together and catching up.

Regular date nights can improve communication, trust, and overall satisfaction in the marriage. It is essential for the man to make his wife feel loved and desired, as this can prevent feelings of neglect or resentment from building up.

By making date nights a priority and making them enjoyable for both partners, the man can significantly improve his marriage and strengthen the bond with his wife.

Come To An Understanding

One way for a man to save his sexless marriage is by understanding his partner about the lack of intimacy in their relationship.

This may involve open and honest communication about each person's needs and desires and discussing any potential barriers to fulfilling those needs (such as physical or mental health issues). 

Seeking professional help from a therapist or sex therapist can be beneficial in addressing and resolving any underlying issues. Both partners need to be willing to work towards finding solutions and making compromises to improve their marriage's intimacy. 

However, if one partner is unwilling to address the issue or make changes, it may ultimately lead to the end of the marriage. Therefore, both parties must be committed to finding a resolution for the marriage to survive and thrive.

Keep Trying

Many marriages experience issues with intimacy and sex, but that doesn't mean the relationship has to end. Instead, couples can work through these challenges and improve their physical connection by making a concerted effort to keep trying.

A man can save his sexless marriage by being open and honest with his partner about his desires and needs. This can be a difficult conversation, but it is crucial for both partners to feel fulfilled.

Communication also extends to discussing potential barriers hindering physical intimacy, such as stress or health issues. Seeking professional help from a therapist or sex therapist can also be beneficial in addressing these obstacles and finding solutions.

The man needs to take the initiative in the bedroom and try new things, but it is equally crucial for him to listen and respond to his partner's wants and needs. This can involve experimenting with different techniques or introducing sex toys or role-play into the mix.

Additionally, finding ways to increase intimacy outside the bedroom can improve physical connections. This can include simple acts like cuddling, making time for date nights, and participating in shared hobbies or activities that bring both partners joy.

Saving a marriage takes effort and dedication from both partners. Still, by keeping trying and addressing issues openly and proactively, the physical aspect of the relationship can be strengthened and improved.

Don't Forget Your Vows

Many couples enter marriage with the best intentions, hoping to love and cherish their partner for a lifetime. However, as time goes on and life gets busy, it's easy for things like communication and physical intimacy to fall by the wayside. Sometimes, this can lead to a sexless marriage where one or both partners feel frustrated and disappointed.

But it doesn't have to stay that way. The first step in saving a sexless marriage is for the man to take responsibility for his actions and remember his vows. This means actively seeking to improve communication with your partner and addressing any underlying issues, such as resentment or feelings of neglect. It also means making an effort to prioritize physical intimacy, not just for your satisfaction but for the health and happiness of your marriage.

Taking the initiative to reignite passion in the relationship can be scary and uncomfortable, but keeping your marriage strong is worth it. Remembering your vows means committing to loving and cherishing your partner for better or worse, in sickness and health, for as long as you both shall live. So don't let a sexless marriage be the downfall of your relationship - take action to save it, and don't forget your vows.

Consult A Professional

One way a man can work towards saving his sexless marriage is by consulting a professional therapist or counselor. 

A trained, unbiased third party can help guide the couple through communication and conflict resolution as they navigate issues surrounding their lack of sexual intimacy.

The therapist may also uncover underlying factors contributing to the lack of sex in the marriage, such as past traumas or mismatched desires, and work with the couple to address them. 

The therapist can also provide education on healthy sexual practices and how to improve intimacy in the relationship.

Seeking professional help can be a valuable tool in repairing and improving the sexual aspect of a marital relationship. 

It is important for both partners to actively participate in therapy and be open to making changes, as well as following any recommendations or action steps given by the therapist. 

Consulting a professional can lead to increased understanding, communication, and ultimately a more fulfilling sexual relationship within the marriage.

Having Patience Is Key

Patience is essential to any relationship, but it is especially crucial when trying to salvage a sexless marriage. Sometimes, a lack of physical intimacy may stem from underlying issues such as communication problems or past traumas. 

These issues can take time to address and resolve, so having patience and allowing the necessary time for healing is crucial. It is important to remember that these issues did not develop overnight and will only be fixed after a while.

A man needs to have patience with his partner and their journey toward healing. Both partners must actively participate in finding solutions and improving the relationship, but one person cannot force the other to overcome their challenges or engage in intimacy. 

Patience and understanding can foster a supportive and safe environment for both partners to work on their issues and improve their physical intimacy.

It is also essential for a man to have patience with himself. It can be difficult and frustrating to deal with a sexless marriage, but it is important not to give up. Still, it is crucial not to give up and to continue seeking help and finding ways to improve the relationship. 

Rather than giving in to anger or resentment, patience and perseverance can lead to positive changes in the marriage.

Having patience is key in trying to save a marriage. It allows for the necessary time for healing and growth, fosters understanding and support within the relationship, and prevents giving up on the marriage. 

With patience and determination, a man can work towards improving his physical intimacy with his partner and ultimately saving his marriage.

Getting Therapy Help

One option for a man in a sexless marriage is to seek therapy help. This can be done individually or with a partner, depending on their willingness to participate in counseling. 

In therapy, the couple can work to address any underlying issues contributing to the lack of physical intimacy in the relationship. These could include communication problems, resentment, past traumas, and differing sexual desires or needs.

Therapy can also help the couple explore ways to increase intimacy in their relationships, such as open discussions about desires and boundaries, trying new things together, setting aside dedicated time for connecting physically, and finding compromises for both partners. 

In therapy, the man can also address any personal issues impacting his sexual desires or performance, such as erectile dysfunction or low libido.

Therapy can provide a safe space for the couple to openly discuss their concerns and work towards improving their physical intimacy in the marriage.

Other Effects Of A Sexless Marriage On The Husband

One of the most common effects on a husband in a sexless marriage is feeling rejected and undesirable. This can lead to low self-esteem and even depression. In addition, without physical intimacy, the emotional connection between partners may also suffer, leading to distance and communication issues.

A sexless marriage can make the relationship boring and stale.

Sometimes, a husband may turn to infidelity or other unsafe behaviors in search of physical and emotional fulfillment. Financial responsibilities may also shift within the marriage, with the husband feeling pressure to provide for his family independently.

On a positive note, marriage can also bring stability and security to a man's life. As a result, he may feel a stronger sense of purpose and motivation to succeed personally and professionally.

Both partners must communicate openly and work towards finding a solution that satisfies their needs. This may include therapy, seeking medical help, or simply scheduling time for intimacy and connection. No matter the circumstances, it is never too late to improve and strengthen a marriage.


In conclusion, a sexless marriage can have numerous adverse effects on a man, such as decreased self-esteem, increased stress and anxiety, feelings of rejection and loneliness, and even physical health issues.

Sometimes marriages are not meant to be, and you both might want to become just friends.

Couples in a sexless marriage need to communicate openly about their desires and concerns, seek counseling if necessary, and try to reconnect physically and emotionally. Ignoring or avoiding the issue will only lead to further dissatisfaction and harm in the relationship. Ultimately, both partners deserve to feel emotionally and physically fulfilled in their marriage.

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